I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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