i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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