Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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