Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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