I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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