just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
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I just found puke in my bra..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
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I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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