Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
