she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He literally asked permission to hit on me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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