I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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