he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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