I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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