wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
