ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
