She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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