fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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