He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize