there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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