Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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