Small penises have feelings too.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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