It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
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I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
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I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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