Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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