not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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