just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
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I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
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he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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