i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he thought i was a dude.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
