We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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