I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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