come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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