"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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