So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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