OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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