Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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