he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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