picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
