And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
