Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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