Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
