So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
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your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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