yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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