how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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