some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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