He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
