I got chris browned last night
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
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I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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