We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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