just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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