My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize