I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
