Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize