doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
