tell your sister to shave her snatch
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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