Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
