WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize