Don't make out with my wife yet
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
