there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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