id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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