Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
