i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
