Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
