I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
