didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
why is half of my head shaved?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
