glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
