We got so high we made milksteak
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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