??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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