I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
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It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
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Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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